The Lesson in My Anger

Yesterday, I was so angry. Angry at life, angry at people, angry at situations, angry that I don’t have a magic wand to wave away my issues. And then the next minute I would be close to tears – fiery, bubbling lava threatening to erupt out of me any minute.

I decided not to post yesterday, as it was too raw and I didn’t want the energy of the anger to affect anyone else. I needed a day to feel, to experience. I didn’t know where this anger had suddenly come from and it needed to be processed.

Now, having slept on it and meditated in the peace and quiet of a beautiful, sunny Sunday morning, I can see what I needed to learn.  Continue reading

Overcoming the Lows

We all know that success isn’t a straight line. It’s more like a two steps forward, one step back kind of thing. Sometimes even one step forward, two steps back. I like to think I’m taking the scenic tour, encompassing the whole spectrum of emotions, seeing all the beauty and exquisite torture life can be. At least I’ll be wiser at the end of it.

But that’s the thing, there really isn’t an end. When you start the journey, you’re on it for life. You don’t wave a magic wand and suddenly all your issues are healed, never to return again. When you heal an issue, you will be tested. Have you really learnt the lesson? Continue reading

Loving Food, Loving Life!

The past two weeks, I’ve been focused on honouring my body. Listening to it and going with what it tells me. I’ve been eating foods I love that I know will make me feel great, rather than sticking to rabbit “diet” food. I’ve been eating more slowly, more mindfully and stopping when I feel full.

I’ve been journaling, meditating, drinking more water, going to bed earlier when my body tells me it’s tired.

And in that two weeks, I’ve lost 6.5lbs. I feel healthier, more vibrant, more in control. My mind feels clearer – I’ve had none of the brain fog that comes with eating lots of sugar.  Continue reading

Healing my Toxic Relationship with Food

So far on my journey, I’ve concentrated on how I feel about myself and improving the relationship I have with my body. I’ve taken huge steps and I can’t believe the progress I’ve made since I began this back in March. I still have my blips and moments of self-doubt, which is absolutely normal as I’m only human, but I’ve finally made friends with myself again. I’ve learnt that loving yourself doesn’t have to be the constant struggle that we’ve been programmed to believe it is. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s survival. Talking and thinking about yourself in loving, positive terms doesn’t make you an arrogant narcissist, it makes you happier and healthier, and in turn, you have more to give others. But I’ve neglected the part of me that wants to lose weight. Continue reading

How I’m Improving my Body Image through Mindfulness

Each day we’re blessed with a clean slate. But we’re usually too wrapped up in beating ourselves up over yesterday and worrying about tomorrow to understand the chance we have.

Lately I’ve been making much more of an effort to be more aware and live in the moment. It takes conscious effort, as stress and worry come so easily. But being mindful gives us the chance to appreciate everyone and everything around us, and most of all, ourselves. And with it comes the realisation that we can choose how to feel, we can choose how to respond, we can choose how to act. Continue reading

The Taboo of Body Issues

I’ve heard “You’re so brave” countless times since starting my blog. I’ve had people worry that if they comment or share my posts, it will be seen as though they have issues, and that is unbearable to them. And I get that. I’ve spent most of my life feeling the same. I’ve always hidden my struggles away, up until recently. But how is that helping us? Why are we scared of being seen as vulnerable, as human? Talking about our struggles doesn’t make us weak, it helps make us stronger. Continue reading

You’ve Been Tagged…

Do you get that feeling of dread when you get the notification that you’ve been tagged in photos?

Feels crap, doesn’t it?

I’ve battled that feeling for years. After a night with friends, I’d wait for the notifications of doom to start on Facebook. Such-a-body has tagged 8 photos of you. Aaaargh! Oh I look bloody awful. Untag. What a horrible picture. Untag. Oh that one’s ok, I’ll allow that one. Oh Keeley, you look shocking on that one. Untag.

This week my sister received her wedding pictures back and I was tagged in the pictures that were uploaded to Facebook. The pictures was fantastic, but I immediately hated the way I looked in them, and quickly untagged myself. It went against everything I’m trying to achieve. And I realised it was also denying my sister’s wedding, and my presence there. How dare I do that? How dare my body anxiety do that? Continue reading

Success is Not a Straight Line

My self care last week meant that I had to let my body anxiety win.

I started the week feeling really low. Sunday had been a lazy day after a big family party the night before. I told myself I was going to have a self care day, staying in my pyjamas, watching TV, reading, and, thinking that it would be good to free myself of any food restrictions, I could eat what I wanted. And so I did. Breakfast butty, chocolate, ice cream and burgers for tea. Is it any wonder I woke up the next day feeling sluggish, tired, sick, and very, very guilty?

That was not self care. That was the vicious cycle of emotional eating in motion. Because I felt tired and delicate from the night before, I fed those feelings rather than eat things that would make me feel better. And in realising that, I felt I had let myself down, and let you down dear reader. Continue reading

How I’m Busting Through My Blocks

I’d like to share with you how the daily work in my Facebook Body Confidence support group is helping me, and hopefully also the lovely members who I’m very blessed with. These posts represent the work I’m doing on myself, the blocks and limiting beliefs that I’m busting through in order to take better care of myself, to feel better about myself, to embrace who I am, and live life rather than hide away.

And it’s working. Last week I was able to beat my inner bully, who told me I looked fat and ugly and was going to ruin all my sister’s wedding photos, as I wrote about in my post I Beat the Body Blues! Not only did I silence that voice, but I threw myself fully into the day, laughing, dancing, living life exactly I should. Don’t let your inner bully win. Kill her with kindness.

Continue reading